A Secret Longing Unfulfilled.

A secret longing unfulfilled

A secret desire untamed

I dare not speak it

I dare not give it a name

Too many nights spent all alone

Talking to myself; feeling old

Trying to fight the temptations

Longing to give up and be bold

A persistent, throbbing , aching need

A wild untamable desire

Trying hard to hold it back

But, I feel like I am on fire

Passionate longings go unanswered

I’m stuck here in this mediocrity

Trying as always to be good

But wild things must be free

A secret longing gone unfulfilled

A secret desire gone untamed

I dare not speak it

I dare not give it a name

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Your Solitude.

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If I could get you to talk to me my friend, what would I say?

I know the feeling of being alone when you are not alone?

That I know how much it hurts to be rejected and cast aside?

Does misery in fact love company? Or is that only a comfort to the selfish?

I find no comfort in it and prefer to work it out on my own.

Perhaps, that is what you need the most silence and a chance to think.

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I just hope you know I think of you and that I hope for your return.

That I’d never push you to confide in me, but that you have a friend.

One who would sit quietly beside you and not make any demands.

Who would wait for you to talk and would listen when you did.

I hope for all that’s best and have not a single self-interest I wish to claim.

And so I leave you to your solitude and hope you are okay.

Lackluster Days of Winter.

 

The sun finally decided to come out and so I opened all the blinds.

It cheered my soul to see my old friend looking down on me once again.

The days had been so dark and dull and the snow, once white, now was gray.

The sun flirted with the peaks and left pretty patterns of light dancing on the frozen surface.

Too briefly did he make his appearance and then disappeared behind the clouds.

The peaks absent, now, of light return to a lackluster heap of piled up snow.

And once again I began to mourn with the knowledge that this winter will be long.

That many lackluster days will bring dark dull days filled with nothing but grayness and dead vegetation.

I Hate Drama.

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I tend to not to indulge in drama, sometime it finds you, but I don’t go near it voluntarily.

My philosophy is, if you do not add any wood to the fire it will eventually go out. We all get upset, we all get treated unfairly, and we all face rejection.

It says more about our own character in the way we reacted to these challenges than what is being done specifically to us.

I am not advocating bottling up all your emotions, but if you must vent do so privately with someone you trust; don’t parade it for the whole world to see.

The world is cruel, fickle, and seldom on your side.

If you can, try turning it into a joke about how not to react or one poking fun at yourself for letting the jerks get to you.

I Am Very Selective When It Comes to Letting People Get Close

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I can’t just start out telling people my whole life story; I just don’t work that way.

I prefer to let my writing do my talking and even then I often hold back.

Would I like someone whom I could divulge all my secrets to?  One whom I could trust completely? Certainly, but to be honest not sure if such a person exist.

I share bit and pieces of myself; I let a few in a little deeper.

I am not afraid to cut off those who misuse that trust. I am loyal to those I allow in, but I expect the same.

Is this healthy?

I really don’t know, but it is how I operate and sometimes, I must admit, I expect too much and am then disappointed.

I am learning to relax, not to expect too much and just breathe. Simple, lesson I suppose, but one that was needed.

I Am Me and Nobody Else

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Just another crazy hair day.

I am not like anyone I know, oh, I suppose there are similarities there always is.
My family is crazy and I’m not…okay, perhaps I am not that different after all.
The point I am trying to make is that I don’t feel the need to justify why I am like I am. Life does things to you; it shapes you good or ill. I am the sum of my experiences, temperament, personality, and choices I have made.
I have to live with those things, others don’t.
I don’t like it when people try and tell me not to be who I am.

If you don’t like me…so what? How that is supposed to concern me, especially if I don’t know you?
I am all for positive change and growth, but unless I see it for myself, bullying is not going to make me change my mind, it sure and hell is not going to make me over into someone else’s image of me.
Took me too long to stand up for myself and now that I have, I am not going back.
So, I am me and nobody else. 🙂