Dead.

Sad woman on the bed with her husband in the background - stock photo

Once I thought about how to please you.
You took advantage, you made me feel worthless.
So many days spent alone.
Aching for your touch
Bewildered by your refusal.
You chased shadows.
I ate my heart out wondering…
Wondering just when I would be good enough?
How I could compete with what you compared me to?
Now, you realize what you lost.
And how am I suppose to feel?
Grateful? I cannot.
Like two strangers we have become…
But, perhaps it has always been that way?
Your kisses leave me cold.
Ironic that the fire in your eyes once burned in mine.
All that has died and I live a lie.
I cannot return a love I do not feel.

Numbness.

PTSD symbol isolated on white background. Anxiety disorder symbol conceptual design - stock photo

It is the sameness that drives me mad

The same day repeated that never varies

The persistent numbness that is my existence

Until feelings burst free leaving me in despair

Illustration of film countdown. EPS 10. - stock vector

 I did not ask for this, it isn’t what I wanted

So many times I try to break free from my past

A never-ending nightmare that in my head replays

No matter how many times I try to escape it.

 Illustration depicting a highway gantry sign with an advice or support concept. Blue sky background. - stock photo

Don’t give me any of your dime store advice

If I could have chosen, don’t you think I would have?

I didn’t ask for the cards that have been dealt me

Your lack of compassion does nothing to save me

High Mountain Viewpoint - stock photo

 If gazing at the sunset; contemplating life

Was enough to change me, I’d never stop

If I could think those positive thoughts

Then I would do so all day long

sad woman sitting alone in a empty room - stock photo

 Just because someone does not comprehend

Does not mean that it does not exist

So, please stop talking like you know

Because, you do not understand at all.

Locked within my head.

Head and hands of praying man, low-key portrait - stock photo

I’m locked within my head
Lost there
Abandoned by the reason I once held so high
I can think of nothing else
Pain lives there
Raw, unrelenting; driving me toward madness
Brooding in the dark
Alone there
I cannot get away from this solitary asceticism
Struggling no longer
Stuck there
Unable to free myself, no longer wanting to
Locked within my head
Lost there
Brooding
In pain
Alone
Abandoned.