Happiness is Fleeting

beautiful girl enjoying the freshness - stock photo

 

Happiness is fleeting

You cannot trust it

Everyday there is something new

It may bring sadness, it may bring joy

The trick, I think

Is to enjoy those fleeting moments

To recall them when sorrow comes

To realize that saddens passes

And joy returns, eventually

Best to take a few chances

To not be afraid to try

It is in those fleeting moments

We see a glimpse of pure bliss

It makes us greedy for more

So, we try to fake it

And end up miserable

Because we cannot reproduce

The element of surprise

That takes us off guard

And leaves us speechless

In the wake of such happiness

We never thought could be

When I Learned the Truth.

You ever have a song that you identified strongly with in your youth? The song you played over and over again, shut up alone in your bedroom, the one you cried about?  I have been thinking about that song lately and how much I identified with the lyrics, sad as they were.  Chubby, painfully shy, and unpopular the song below somewhat describes when I became aware, if you will, when:” I learned the truth.”

 

Today, it all seems so long ago and what once seemed so important and worth having a good cry about is no longer of any importance at all. But, the lyrics could have been written yesterday for all those who feel like “ugly ducklings”.

 

 

 

 

Your Solitude.

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If I could get you to talk to me my friend, what would I say?

I know the feeling of being alone when you are not alone?

That I know how much it hurts to be rejected and cast aside?

Does misery in fact love company? Or is that only a comfort to the selfish?

I find no comfort in it and prefer to work it out on my own.

Perhaps, that is what you need the most silence and a chance to think.

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I just hope you know I think of you and that I hope for your return.

That I’d never push you to confide in me, but that you have a friend.

One who would sit quietly beside you and not make any demands.

Who would wait for you to talk and would listen when you did.

I hope for all that’s best and have not a single self-interest I wish to claim.

And so I leave you to your solitude and hope you are okay.

Dead.

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Once I thought about how to please you.
You took advantage, you made me feel worthless.
So many days spent alone.
Aching for your touch
Bewildered by your refusal.
You chased shadows.
I ate my heart out wondering…
Wondering just when I would be good enough?
How I could compete with what you compared me to?
Now, you realize what you lost.
And how am I suppose to feel?
Grateful? I cannot.
Like two strangers we have become…
But, perhaps it has always been that way?
Your kisses leave me cold.
Ironic that the fire in your eyes once burned in mine.
All that has died and I live a lie.
I cannot return a love I do not feel.

Numbness.

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It is the sameness that drives me mad

The same day repeated that never varies

The persistent numbness that is my existence

Until feelings burst free leaving me in despair

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 I did not ask for this, it isn’t what I wanted

So many times I try to break free from my past

A never-ending nightmare that in my head replays

No matter how many times I try to escape it.

 Illustration depicting a highway gantry sign with an advice or support concept. Blue sky background. - stock photo

Don’t give me any of your dime store advice

If I could have chosen, don’t you think I would have?

I didn’t ask for the cards that have been dealt me

Your lack of compassion does nothing to save me

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 If gazing at the sunset; contemplating life

Was enough to change me, I’d never stop

If I could think those positive thoughts

Then I would do so all day long

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 Just because someone does not comprehend

Does not mean that it does not exist

So, please stop talking like you know

Because, you do not understand at all.