Feeling blue.

I have not been writing on this blog so much of late, mostly because I have been focusing on my silly blog.

I have been very stable the last few months, but yesterday it crashed in on me.

I have no idea how or why, but suddenly without warning I was so depressed I did not want to get out of bed.

This always scares me ,as my biggest fear is going back to the dark place and not coming back out again.

I gave myself the permission to be depressed, I knew that I was not able to fight it.

Too worn down to even try.

So, I slept and I cried.

And today I feel better and am willing to fight again.

Always glad when the storm passes, it shows me that I will get depressed, but at least I don’t live there anymore.

Even being an occasional visitor sucks, I must admit, but the alternative is worse.

I feel fine today and fine is okay when that is all you can manage.

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Thankfulness.

Thankfulness, doesn’t always come so easy to me.

I wonder if most depressed people feel this way?

I have been getting better at it.

When you make yourself see the positive side of life more, I think, you become more grateful.

When you are more grateful than being more thankful becomes easy.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I am more thankful and grateful then I have been in years.

It is funny to think, that two of the contributors to this big change  in my personality can be laid at the door of social networking.

Facebook helped me to reunite with family members and helped me to get interested once again in their lives and being connected.

Twitter helped me see there are people out there that think I am an alright person and actually want to interact with me!

It also got me seriously thinking about my writing.

I am grateful, because I believe these two social networks have helped me come out of my shell and enter the world of the living once again!

It goes without saying, but I will say it anyway…that I am so blessed with my husband and children,who I love more than anything in this world and who I could not imagine life without.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and can count the many blessings they have!

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Dear Solider

Dear solider,

I am not sure what to say to you, thank you does not seem enough.

I am safe and warm.

You are cold and lonely.

I am free to go where I please.

You are stuck in Hell.

I hate to admit it, but I seldom think about you …..going about with the business of life.

It takes a Holiday or Anniversary to remind me and then I do not always listen to the speeches, the tributes, all the words.

It must discourage you that you’re so seldom thought about.

That the sacrifice of your comrades goes unhonored.

We are sorry.

Doesn’t seem enough.

But we thank you,

America

Do it Anyway.

I have a new philosophy it is “Do it anyway.”

Being a depressed individual, at times, my tendency is to hide from my problems and to avoid what I do not want to do.

This gets me nowhere and leaves me feeling blue.

So, when I do not feel like making myself up or taking care of myself the attitude will be “do it anyway.”

When I don’t feel like exercising or eating right the attitude is going to be “do it anyway.”

When I’d rather be Twittering or Face-booking instead of doing my school work, housework, or anything else that should have the higher priority the attitude will be “do it anyway.”

Facebook, Twitter, or my blogs are not going anywhere.

So, the need to prioritize is huge.

I am getting off, now.

I don’t really want to but I’m going to “do it anyway.”

Going for a walk.