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Heart of glass mistaken for stone
You’ll never know how much it hurt
Rejected, abandoned, left with scares
I kept it all inside

The years have been too much
The journey full of tears
Heartaches, neglect, abuse
I survived; that’s all

Warrior for others rights
I cannot seem to defend my own
Bleeding inward most days
I hide it all from view

Silence mistaken for strength
The tears no longer come
A hole left where a soul use to be
I am numb that’s all

Walk Away

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If I walked away

Would it really matter?

Things would go on as always

Any loss felt would be short lived

I grow tired of the game

The inconsistency of you

And so, now I shall bow out

And bid you a last adieu

No reason for your absence

You choose to stay away

Only returning at your leisure

I no longer wish to wait

I only pause a moment

And think of all that’s been

I stop to gather courage

And, then silently walk away

 

 

Another Musician Exits the Stage.

Another musician has passed.

I must acknowledge that he was a part of my growing up years.

The sheer number of the work he produced would have been hard to miss.

And now I have another admission, I wasn’t a fan.

He had a wonderful voice and was a talented musician.

I just did not care much for his style, I guess you could say.

Like Michael Jackson, who was an excellent performer, it just wasn’t my cup of tea.

I could jump on the bandwagon and say I actually loved his music  all the time, but that, to me, would be the ultimate in disrespect.

I am sorry for his family and his friends who will miss him.

For his fans he was a light that went out way to soon.

We only knew him from his work; his friends and family will mourn the man and the rest of the world the artist.

Whichever group one falls into, we have to admit he made an impact and that is no small accomplishment.

Feel free to share your thoughts if you were a fan.

 

 

 

 

Letter to the Toxic People in my Life

 

I am sorry.

Sorry, I let you bully me.

Sorry, I never told you how much I hated it.

Sorry, I never stood up for myself before.

Sorry, I made you feel like you had some power over me.

Sorry, I just went along so you’d be civil for a few days.

Sorry, I let you think that you could keep bullying me indefinitely.

I am not sorry I am going to cut you out of my life.

I am not sorry that I now have peace because of it.

I am not sorry that I feel better about myself then I have for a long time.

I am not sorry I found my voice at last.

I am not sorry I regained my dignity and self-worth.

I cannot persuade others to do the same; each of us must decide when we have had enough.

When keeping the peace is not worth the cost of suppressing ourselves one day longer.

And really is it peaceful to always be anxious about being contact by you? Dreading the next meeting? Trying to connive ways to avoid you?

So, I am sorry that I cannot think of a reason to keep you in my life.

I am sorry you cannot see why.

But, I will demand and expect respect from those I let get close to me.

So, I am sorry that can’t be you.

Happiness is Fleeting

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Happiness is fleeting

You cannot trust it

Everyday there is something new

It may bring sadness, it may bring joy

The trick, I think

Is to enjoy those fleeting moments

To recall them when sorrow comes

To realize that saddens passes

And joy returns, eventually

Best to take a few chances

To not be afraid to try

It is in those fleeting moments

We see a glimpse of pure bliss

It makes us greedy for more

So, we try to fake it

And end up miserable

Because we cannot reproduce

The element of surprise

That takes us off guard

And leaves us speechless

In the wake of such happiness

We never thought could be

Misstep

LISBON, PORTUGAL - MARCH 10, 2014: Photo of WordPress.com homepage on a monitor screen through a magnifying glass. - stock photo

I have been running out of blog ideas so I signed up for daily prompts from WordPress.

I am a free spirit and cannot see myself doing this every day.

From time to time I will use the daily prompt to get over these slumps of writer’s block.

Today’s prompt was misstep.

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All my life

Even though I am old

Has seemed like a dress rehearsal

I sit in the shadows and watch

Other people live out their dreams

I politely clap and cheer them on

Then I retire once again

Feeling more alone than before

What is the key to being happy?

I never found it, I guess

When I look back I see me as one

Who always sidestep responsibility

For her own life

Depending on others way too much

I wish I could recall that first misstep

That snowballed into passiveness

Acceptance of a mediocre life

And goes against my passionate nature

 

I hate to leave this on such a bummer note. I know that I am changing and can change. I do still struggle with self image and depression. But, every single day I get up and try again. I know there is hope for all of us who suffer with depression.