Your Silence.

Closeup of girl crying with tear rolling down her cheek - stock photo

I try to be strong
I tell myself it doesn’t matter
I have many friends
If you no longer care for me
What does it matter?
That is what I tell myself
It isn’t working
It hurts and I cannot lie
Why do you feel it necessary to punish me
Punish me with your silence.hand of young  woman  melancholy and sad  at the window in the rain - stock photo

I am told it is your loss
But, I have lost something,too
It could be true you never cared
It could be true your heart is hard
And you don’t miss me as I do you
I tell myself it doesn’t matter
A lie to make me feel better
It isn’t working
I still feel lost
I still don’t know why
You punish me with your silence

Sad girl looking through window - stock photo

I have to let it go
I will drive myself insane
It is not healthy to go on like this
I know all the right things to say
Still ,it isn’t working
I cannot convince myself
That it doesn’t matter
I am better off without you
That is what all my friends would say
And still you punish me with your silence

Dreamy thoughtful beautiful brunette with mug of hot beverage. - stock photo

In the end you will be replaced
There is nothing else
It is the logical next step
I find it hard to walk away
Although, I know this isn’t working
Still I hope for your return
This too will pass
And I will move on
I will grow stronger and forget
No longer punished by your silence…

Memories.

 

watercolor illustration, depicting a portrait of a beautiful young woman - stock photo

You probe the wounds to see how much they’ll bleed
Why must you do that?
You think they are all healed and then something reminds you
Why can’t you shut it out?
You replay a hundred stinging words like a broken LP record
Why can’t you let it go?
You relive the nightmares, a never-ending reel of film playing in your head
Why can’t you shut it off?

How many time will I leave the past behind only to revisit it?
How many times will I let the nightmares of my past dictate who I am now?
Why must the tears, the pain, the memories flood my soul and drown out what is good?