Feeling blue.

Blossoming branch of Sakura in the blue sky                                Stock Photo - 14589579

I have not been writing on this blog so much of late, mostly because I have been focusing on my silly blog.

I have been very stable the last few months, but yesterday it crashed in on me.

I have no idea how or why, but suddenly without warning I was so depressed I did not want to get out of bed.

This always scares me ,as my biggest fear is going back to the dark place and not coming back out again.

I gave myself the permission to be depressed, I knew that I was not able to fight it.

Too worn down to even try.

So, I slept and I cried.

And today I feel better and am willing to fight again.

Always glad when the storm passes, it shows me that I will get depressed, but at least I don’t live there anymore.

Even being an occasional visitor sucks, I must admit, but the alternative is worse.

I feel fine today and fine is okay when that is all you can manage.

//

//

//

//

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. Dear Rachel,

    I didn’t know about this blog, I only knew about your funny silly one that I enjoy so much.

    Depression sucks the really big one. I’m so sorry you have this problem. I do, too, and it is horrible when it hits, I think it’s never going to end, and that I won’t be able to bear the pain. Last year around this time was one of my worst depressions ever. I went days without being able to summon the energy to even brush my teeth. And I really hate the feeling of scummy teeth.

    Being silly helps though, doesn’t it? You know that old trite cliche: “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

    Well, have a silly-but-true saying of my own: “That which doesn’t kill me makes me grumpier.”

    I am worried about our friend Linda justsouno. I can’t find her blog. She posted something a few days ago, and I hadn’t gone to her blog yet to read it, because my husband’s son had emergency surgery early Thanksgiving day, the night before he was in a lot of pain and was rushed to the hospital and they found he had another abcess and bowel perforation. So Stan and I ate cheese sandwiches instead of turkey because we couldn’t even think about having a big dinner when Forrest couldn’t eat at all, and we were so scared. Anyway, Forrest is doing better now, and the sun is shining, our Cattle Dog is snoozing next to me, my best-friend-hubby is sitting in his leather recliner a few feet away perusing his laptop, and life at this moment is good. I hope life is good for you today too, and for our friend Linda, too!

    YAY YOU for allowing yourself to cry and sleep and feel depressed and then fight your way back out of it. What an inspiration!

    ((HUGS))

    Lynda/LadyQ

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s