Tears are Not Enough.

 

This is dedicated to a friend who lost her daughter a few weeks back.

 

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Tears are not enough when you have to say goodbye.
Your heart is wrung dry of them; so dried-eyed you stare into space.
No matter how they try to comfort you the words ,they all,fall short; you can’t relate.
A muffled noise is all you hear, as the lights swirl around you, an over-powering of the senses.
She’s gone, those words keep playing in your head, but you can’t quite believe it, this is not how it suppose to be.
She was too young, she had too much to live for, she was supposed to live a long full life.
This is not the way it is supposed to be she should have lived to bury you.

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Your Silence.

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I try to be strong
I tell myself it doesn’t matter
I have many friends
If you no longer care for me
What does it matter?
That is what I tell myself
It isn’t working
It hurts and I cannot lie
Why do you feel it necessary to punish me
Punish me with your silence.hand of young  woman  melancholy and sad  at the window in the rain - stock photo

I am told it is your loss
But, I have lost something,too
It could be true you never cared
It could be true your heart is hard
And you don’t miss me as I do you
I tell myself it doesn’t matter
A lie to make me feel better
It isn’t working
I still feel lost
I still don’t know why
You punish me with your silence

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I have to let it go
I will drive myself insane
It is not healthy to go on like this
I know all the right things to say
Still ,it isn’t working
I cannot convince myself
That it doesn’t matter
I am better off without you
That is what all my friends would say
And still you punish me with your silence

Dreamy thoughtful beautiful brunette with mug of hot beverage. - stock photo

In the end you will be replaced
There is nothing else
It is the logical next step
I find it hard to walk away
Although, I know this isn’t working
Still I hope for your return
This too will pass
And I will move on
I will grow stronger and forget
No longer punished by your silence…

Crying Bitter Tears.

This poem was inspired by a woman I don’t know. A woman who lost her son when someone shot him one night.

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Crying Bitter Tears.

I would wrap my arms around you if they could reach that far and cry bitter tears with you and rage with you against your loss.
Why do men kill other men? And take away the one who is so loved?
By a sweet and caring mother, who they leave to grieve alone?
So far away what can I do? I cannot even understand your pain; I have my son with me.
I can only hang my head in shame and realize, now at last, what a lucky person that I am.
I have been so selfishly unaware that I have been so truly blessed.
While I have ignored the ones I loved to seek selfish interests and complain about my fate.
I would wrap my arms around you it they could reach that far and cry bitter tears with you and rage against your loss.

A Poet’s Fancy.

I wrote this poem after a nephew’s suicide.

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I see you there

so unlike yourself

But, that is not

what will haunt me the most

It will not be

the overpowering

perfume of the flowers

It will not be

the suit of clothes

they dressed you in

It will not be

those cold stiff hands

silently crossed

against your chest

It will not be

the funereal hymns

nor the pastor’s words

NO!

It will be

that half-smile

upon your lips

As, if

you are saying

it is better this way

Is there

any meaning…

behind that smile?

Or is it…

only a poet’s fancy?

I do not know

I only know

that it will

forever haunt me

We Cannot Understand.

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Why did things go so terribly wrong?

So much potential!

So much talent!

Why did you feel it necessary to deprive the world?

Deprive the world of what you had to offer?

It is never okay, it never will be okay.

We can forgive, but can not forget.

You can not be replaced.

No one has shown up yet.

We can understand an accident.

We can understand a life taken away by a stranger’s hand.

Life loss to a disease or due to illness.

But never suicide.

The pain is great and haunting.

The mind reaches out for answers

They do not come

They never will

We understand what suffering is.

We understand what pain is about.

We all have felt alone.

We have all been weary.

That shattered look in the loved one’s eyes

Who are forever groping for answers that never arrive.

We understand what loss is about.

But,we never understand suicide.