I had a thought last night.
A very simple thought.
“I was meant to be happy”
Such a simple truth and yet, to me anyway, profound.
If it had not been for circumstance I would have been.
It is my natural bent to be happy.
I love to laugh, sing, and dance.
I like to make other people laugh.
I see the humor in every day things.
Does that sound like a sourpuss?
A depressed individual who’s level of function is so low that she spends many days in bed?
Well, that was me up until about 3 years ago.
Everyday is a battle not to go back to that deep dark place that I was stuck in for 10 long years.
It is the place I dread the most.
I would battle almost anything else than my depression.
Depression is a hard cruel task master.
It tells you lies and keeps you a prisoner.
Everyone gets the blues, but not everyone is depressed to the point of not being able to function on a daily basis.
People who have never battled this level of depression, just cannot understand it-PERIOD!
And ,no, they are not just feeling sorry for themselves.
The inability to cope with daily life and its demands is real.
Every problem seems huge and unmanageable even the small routine ones.
There are real physical symptoms as well, such as, fatigue, headaches, and sleeping problems to name a few.
Many times the depression will be triggered by some kind of traumatic event.
I think many differing factors led to my depression.
Factors that I will talk about in later posts.
A stronger person may have handled those situations better, I do not know.
What I do know is that I was meant to be happy.