Fear Of Getting Well.

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I have been going on a forum which has to do with depression and well it is depressing, but as I read the stories it hit me, there is a lot of fear going on here.

Fear of life, fear of making healthy changes, fear of getting well.

What? You  may  say.
And you may argue that, of course, a depressed person wants to get well, are you crazy?
To that, I answer, that the depression has become familiar and it is the real world that scares some of us.

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I have heard  people say that therapy doesn’t help, nobody understands, and I’m not taking any of those drugs.
Therapy can help, but you got to want to be helped.
That is ,I know, a cliché’, but some of them are accurate.
I do understand, I was clinically depressed for 10 years.
I wanted to die and I have attempted to end my life 3 times as I remember.
I do not say just pop a pill and all your problems will magically go away.
I was on an anti-depressant for several years and it did not make anything magically disappear.
For some people medication can really work and  others may need another approach, none of us are cookie-cutter people.
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I don’t mock your pain and I never discount what you are saying.
I know you really do believe it true that things are hopeless,that is what makes me sad, because some of you will not get to know the feeling of recovery.
What scares me,and it is so very hard for me to write, is I know some of you won’t live long enough to know it is possible.
Recovery is not a magic land of happiness and rainbows, it takes work and it doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days.
I wish all the bad days would disappear for us all, but that isn’t reality.
I hope some of you will seek recovery and work through your pain.
And to those who have lost hope, I wish with all my heart that  you will survive just one more day and that you will keep on surviving one day at a time.
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